Tag: Thoughts

the search for something real

Posted on by Ajmal

We spend so much of our lives searching for something real, something true, something that makes us feel fully alive. We chase after love, success, adventures, thinking that’s where we’ll finally find that deep sense of aliveness we crave. But so often, those things leave us feeling just as empty as before, if not more so. The truth is, that realness, that feeling of being utterly present and connected to life, doesn’t come from obtaining anything outside of ourselves. It blossoms from within. It happens when we stop looking elsewhere to fill us up and start turning gently inward. There’s a sacredness to be found in the simple act of being. Of being present with yourself, with your emotions, experiences, triumphs and struggles. When you can look at yourself fully, shadows and all, and say “this is me, perfectly imperfect” – that’s where the magic lives.

It’s so easy to get caught up in always wanting more – more money, more adventures, more love. Thinking if we just get that next thing, then we’ll be perpetually happy and content. But that’s a trap that keeps us running endlessly without ever feeling fulfilled. What if we stopped for a moment? Took a pause from the relentless pursuit and simply asked “Am I okay, right here, right now? Can I accept and even embrace myself exactly as I am in this fleeting moment?” That vulnerability, that radical self-acceptance, that’s the path towards feeling real and alive. Yes, seek out experiences that bring you joy. Fall madly in love. Work hard for your dreams. But don’t get so endlessly entangled in the search for something “more” that you miss the beauty and richness of what’s already here. You are enough. You have always been enough. It’s just a matter of stilling the noise, going inward, and allowing yourself to see the inevitably flawed yet stunningly magical truth of your own being. That’s where you’ll finally find what you’ve been searching for all along – a profound sense of feeling real, alive, and divinely, messy human.

a peaceful presence

Posted on by Ajmal

In the ceaseless rush of modern existence, we have become enslaved to the cult of speed. Our lives are a blur of constant motion, an endless cycle of doing, striving, and checking off tasks from an ever-growing list. We measure our worth by our productivity, equating busyness with purpose and importance. Slowing down is seen as a sign of weakness, a surrender to laziness and irrelevance.

Yet, this obsession with speed comes at a profound cost. In our haste, we sacrifice the very things that make life rich and meaningful – connection, presence, and the ability to find joy in the simple moments. We race through our days, barely acknowledging the beauty that surrounds us or the loved ones who walk beside us on this journey.

Our health, too, is a casualty of our hurried ways. We neglect our bodies, fueling them with convenience foods and sacrificing sleep to cram more into our waking hours. Stress and anxiety become constant companions, manifesting in physical ailments and emotional turmoil. We push ourselves to the brink, ignoring the warning signs of burnout until it’s too late.

Ironically, this relentless pace often undermines our productivity and effectiveness. When we are constantly in motion, our minds grow cluttered and our focus scattered. We skim through life, never fully engaging with the tasks at hand, leaving a trail of half-finished projects and unfulfilled potential in our wake.

Perhaps it’s time to reclaim the art of slowness, to embrace a more mindful and intentional way of living. By resisting the siren call of urgency, we can create space for deeper connections, richer experiences, and a more profound appreciation for the present moment.

Imagine a world where we move at a more leisurely pace, savoring the simple pleasures that so often elude us in our haste. A world where we take the time to truly listen to our loved ones, to engage in meaningful conversation, and to forge lasting bonds. A world where we approach our work with focus and care, allowing creativity and innovation to flourish. In this unhurried existence, we would have the freedom to explore our passions, to follow our curiosity down winding paths, and to discover the unexpected joys that lie waiting just beyond the borders of our hurried minds. We would cultivate a sense of presence and mindfulness, noticing the intricate details that often escape our attention in the blur of speed.

Slowing down does not mean stagnation or laziness; rather, it is a conscious choice to prioritize quality over quantity, depth over breadth. It is a recognition that true fulfillment is found not in the endless pursuit of more, but in the ability to fully inhabit each moment, to savor the richness of life’s simple pleasures. As we embrace a more measured pace, we may find that the urgency that once consumed us dissipates, replaced by a newfound sense of tranquility and contentment. We may discover that the very things we once feared – boredom, stillness, quiet – are in fact gateways to deeper self-awareness, creativity, and inner peace. In a world that constantly demands our attention and energy, reclaiming the art of slowness is an act of rebellion, a defiant stand against the tyranny of busyness. It is a choice to live life on our own terms, to savor the journey rather than constantly striving towards an ever-receding horizon. It is an invitation to awaken to the beauty and wonder that surrounds us, to embrace the present moment with open arms, and to find joy in the simple act of being.

the thriver’s mind

Posted on by Ajmal

There’s an inherent tension that exists between craving security and stability, while also feeling called to evolve beyond the familiar into new territories of growth. Our human spirit has an innate need for both rootedness and continual expansion. At certain points, most of us reach instants where we can feel ourselves outgrowing previously comfortable circumstances, perspectives or Self-definitions. Or we find ourselves in unplanned periods of transition where upheaval thrusts us into unforeseen territories, ready or not. In these pivotal moments, there can be an urge to stubbornly resist the currents of change in hopes of preserving what we’ve known. To cling to the status quo or force environments, relationships and situations to remain stagnant out of fear of the unknown. Yet that opposition to metamorphosis poses its own perils – it denies the fundamental truth that everything in existence, flows and continually transforms over time. It risks stifling authenticity and natural growth. Essentially, it’s struggling against the unstoppable tides instead of learning to mindfully ride them.

Profound personal and spiritual growth happens when we befriend the uncertain cycles of birth, death and rebirth inherent in all life chapters. When we flow with transition instead of fighting it, that’s where catharsis, liberation and the greatest expansions of awareness take place. Of course, navigating transformational gateways is rarely easy. In those tender, in-between spaces of not knowing what’s next, there can be enormously vulnerable sensations of being unrooted, unraveled and identityless for a time. Enormous grieving may need to happen to shed former ways of being. Self-doubt narratives around feeling “lost” can cause enormous inner turbulence. Yet it’s important to recognize those spiritually destabilizing experiences as necessary, primordial periods of metamorphosis – akin to a caterpillar’s chrysalis stage before it eventually emerges reborn. We have to allow channels of growth to collapse, deconstruct and dissipate at times so new ones can come awake at a higher plane.

Paradoxically, the more we can learn to surrender with grace to the uncertain currents, the more seamlessly they can carry us somewhere vastly more aligned, expansive and purposeful. Fighting against growth only sows more suffering. Though change can initially cause vertigo at an identity level, if we breathe into the continuously unfolding nature of existence, and release attachment to incessantly trying to control it, it becomes exciting instead of scary. Each ending is a newly pregnant beginning. Every dissolution is a revved creative genesis. The invitation is to open to the process. Get comfortable with the uncomfortable. Flow with the contractions of growth instead of swimming against the surges. And know that after each cycle of dissolution, some vital emergence of your most authentic, thriving Self will be rebirthed on the shores ahead. Embrace the heroic journey.

excavating reservoirs of fortitude

Posted on by Ajmal
 In trials you will find opportunities to discover just how heroically resilient and triumphantly unbreakable you can be.

Life inevitably brings difficulties, disappointments, and periods of upheaval that can make us feel demoralized or want to give up. Setbacks and struggle are an inescapable part of the human journey that test our strength.

During these trials, it’s natural for the mind to get flooded with limiting thoughts and toxic narratives. “This is too hard, I’ll never get through this. I’m just not strong enough. Everything is going wrong and it’s hopeless.” The intensity of the challenges we’re wading through makes the negativity loop feel impossible to quiet.

But giving in to that defeatist self-talk is ultimately self-sabotaging. It drains us of the resilience, hope and determination actually required to overcome what life has thrown our way. We have to remember that we are so much tougher and more capable than we give ourselves credit for in those dark moments.

Resilience is like a muscle that can be progressively strengthened through practice. Every setback, obstacle or heartbreak we’ve moved through in the past is evidence that we have an incredible reserve of fortitude inside us. We’ve survived 100% of our worst days and most painful experiences to make it to the here and now.

When the going gets tough again, that’s the grit we need to call upon. We have to make a conscious choice to have faith in our resilience rather than resigning to despair. To draw inspiration from how we’ve coped with adversity before and trust that we will endure this new struggle as well.

A key part of building lasting resilience is having supportive lifelines to turn to when you’re feeling overwhelmed or tempted to quit. This could mean relying on a counselor, coach or mentor who brings objectivity and can bolster your motivation. It could mean joining a community of people walking similar paths who can empathize with your situation.

Faith in the divine, surrounding yourself with people who believe in you, provide a compassionate listening ear, and remind you of the strength they see in you can be an immense help when your own confidence is shaken. Their caring accountability keeps you taking steps forward.

It’s also wise to cultivate practices that steadily nourish and replenish your well of resilience on an ongoing basis, not just in hardship. Things like daily gratitude, prayer or meditation can re-center you and provide perspective. Creative hobbies, exercise, comedy and music can revive your spirit. Self-care rituals like quality sleep and nutrition keep you fortified.

Because here’s what’s true – you are being guided through these challenges for a purpose. You’re being invited to excavate reservoirs of bravery, wisdom and inner might that may have laid dormant. It’s an opportunity to build heroic resilience in ways that will leave you inspired by your own courage on the other side.

So when the storms of life inevitably hit, don’t be resigned to powerlessness or succumbing to the darkness of fear. Let each difficulty be a ritual of rebirth to unearth the phenomenal human resilience abiding within you all along. Brick by brick, you’re becoming more heroic than you yet know. Keep going.

kindness inwards

Posted on by Ajmal
For all the times that inner voice turns harsh, endeavor to respond with kindness – you’ve got you.

We’re often our own harshest critics, beating ourselves up over perceived flaws, failures and shortcomings with vicious self-talk. That negative internal voice lashes us with insults and put-downs we’d never dream of saying to another person. Yet we allow it to run rampant in our own minds.

Living this way, under a constant regime of merciless self-judgment, is spiritually and emotionally draining. It depletes our confidence, motivation and self-worth over time. It leaves us feeling isolated, inadequate and increasingly averse to trying new things for fear of messing up.

The antidote to this entrenched self-critic is developing true self-compassion – the ability to embrace ourselves with kindness, care and understanding, instead of harsh judgment. To treat ourselves the way we would a dear friend when they are struggling.

With self-compassion, we recognize our shared humanity. That we all suffer, make mistakes and experience hardships. With this wisdom, our inevitable falls and failings don’t define us as inadequate, but as fundamentally human. We go easier on ourselves.

Self-compassion also means meeting our wounds and insecurities with warmth and non-judgmental acceptance, rather than getting hooked by self-criticism. We hold our incomplete, imperfect selves in loving-kindness, providing the reassurance and comfort we need in that vulnerable moment, even if we did stumble.

This inner softening doesn’t make us weak or complacent, as our inner critic may try to convince us. Rather it provides the safety and encouragement needed to grow in healthy, sustainable ways. We’re less paralyzed by fear of failing. More able to pick ourselves up after setbacks.

Research shows self-compassion boosts resilience, happiness levels and motivates positive self-improvement far more than harsh self-criticism. When you resist mercilessly judging yourself, you have more courage to take chances, try new things and confront difficult challenges head on.

Self-compassion also allows you to appropriately set boundaries, nurture your needs and pause for wholesome self-care without guilt or self-flagellation. You learn to honor yourself in simpler yet profound ways each day.One of the most impactful ways to strengthen your self-compassion muscle is by talking to yourself like you would a dear friend going through a hard time. Ask yourself: “What would I say to comfort and uplift someone else in this situation?” Then provide that same warmth and wisdom to yourself.

Ultimately, having our own back through life’s ups and downs is one of the most empowering gifts. It reminds us that we are inherently worthy – not despite our imperfections and struggles, but encompassing all of it. May we endeavor to greet ourselves with the compassion we all deserve.

deepened bonding

Posted on by Ajmal

We all need people in our lives we can truly connect with on a deeper level. Having close relationships and bonds helps us feel grounded, understood and like we belong. Humans thrive through genuine connection.

Yet in our fast-paced, digitally saturated world, it’s easy to let meaningful connections fall by the wayside. We get busy and default to more surface-level interactions driven by convenience. We isolate ourselves with technology instead of nurturing real rapport. Loneliness becomes increasingly common as we lose that fabric of closeness.

If this resonates, it may be time to prioritize building and maintaining more quality connections in your life. Ones that feed your soul and remind you how powerful human bonds can be.

What does a truly meaningful connection look like? It involves relating in an open, vulnerable way that transcends small talk. You feel safe being authentic, expressing your genuine thoughts and feelings. There’s trust, caring, mutual understanding and an ability to be fully present with each other.

Deep connections don’t have to be with romantic partners or family members, although those can certainly provide them. Intimate friendships, community ties, colleagues or connections to mentors and neighbors can all become profoundly nourishing bonds in our lives too. The benefits of investing in these types of relationships are huge. You’ll experience greater emotional intimacy, which allows you to feel seen, heard and accepted as your fullest self. You’ll feel a sense of belonging to something larger than your individual life. These connections become sacred spaces to offload, receive wise guidance, and know you’re not alone.

When you have people who “get” you on a soulful level, you’re able to flourish and grow in ways you can’t by going it alone. And the gifts flow both ways – as you’re able to lovingly support others in return. True connections are empowering and deeply validating.

Building this fabric of closeness does require being intentional, vulnerable and generous with your presence. You have to open up and go beyond superficial exchanges. Ask questions that allow people to share more authentically. Listen deeply without judgement. Spend quality time building trust and rapport. Look for common hopes, experiences and perspectives to bond over.

It’s also crucial to nurture existing connections once they form. Don’t let busyness or distance allow them to decay over time. Make check-ins and quality time together a priority so bonds don’t fray. Cherish the people who make an effort to understand your soul.

In our world of fragmented attention and virtual placeholders for connection, taking a step back to prioritize depth and rootedness may be the most radical act. But investing in genuine connections is investing in the richness of our own spirit. We need people we can lean on, celebrate with, be vulnerable with and grow alongside. The rewards of cultivating that type of relating are vast – because that’s where true belonging lives.

penciling your passion

Posted on by Ajmal
Don’t just pencil in your passions as afterthoughts. Let them become what breathes life into each new day.

We all have things that light us up inside and fill us with energy and excitement. Activities, interests or roles that make us come alive and allow us to operate in our “zone.” These are our passions – the sources of joy, purpose and vitality unique to each of us. For many people though, pursuing their true passions can get pushed to the back burner. The realities of work, bills, family obligations and general busyness take over. Hobbies and callings dear to our hearts get shuffled aside as lower priorities. Before we know it, the spark within starts to fade.

That’s when life can start feeling flat, draining and unfulfilling. We’re just going through the motions, disconnected from activities that make us feel truly engaged and purposeful. A part of us knows we’re living beneath our potential for authentic happiness. The solution is to be more intentional about making room for passion, no matter how busy life gets. It doesn’t have to be everything you do, but prioritizing devoted time for your interests is essential self-care. What recharges you and gives you joy needs to be actively penciled into your schedule on a regular basis.

For some people, a passion is a hobby like art, writing, music, sports, gaming or something creative they adore. For others, it’s intellectual pursuits like reading, learning languages, researching topics of curiosity. It could be outdoor adventures, teaching others, volunteering or community work. Anything that allows you to light up! Pursuing passions provides so many amazing benefits. You rediscover what makes you feel inherently motivated from a place of enthusiasm instead of obligation. Interests that captivate your focus help quiet mental chatter and anxieties.

You get recharged with a sense of purpose. Reclaimed confidence and self-esteem blossoms. Making space for passion also teaches you a ton about yourself – your authentic voice, values, abilities and truth. Expressing those provides profound feelings of vitality. When you let more of your “true colors” shine through in the world, you start attracting people, opportunities and circumstances more aligned with who you really are. What often holds people back is fear – of embarrassment, vulnerability, failure, wasted time or resources. But denying what inspires you is far costlier in the long run. Your passions are what add spice, meaning and joy to everyday living. They bond you to the wonder and creativity of being a person. So don’t neglect the activities that set your heart on fire! Get creative about making them a consistent priority in both small and big ways. Let them revitalize you and inject more aliveness into each day. Because when you live with passion as fuel, you’ll look back with far fewer regrets about playing it too safe. Passions pursued are what make a life vibrantly lived. Now you know why The Border of a Mind is so dear to me. I put my soul into it.

purposeful marvels

Posted on by Ajmal
Take a moment to appreciate the incredible design of a bird’s feather. It’s not just a fluffy adornment; it’s a marvel of engineering. Each feather is meticulously constructed with intricate barbs and barbules, carefully arranged to provide insulation, aerodynamics, and camouflage. The precision and functionality of this design leave us in awe, reminding us that every aspect of nature is crafted with a profound purpose.

Have you ever gazed upon a stunning work of art and felt a sense of awe wash over you? That overwhelming feeling of appreciation for the intricate details, the purposeful strokes, and the profound depth of meaning – it’s a testament to the brilliance of the creator’s vision. Well, have you thought before, the natural world around us is a masterpiece that far surpasses any human-made artwork.

Take a moment to appreciate the incredible design of a bird’s feather. It’s not just a fluffy adornment; it’s a marvel of engineering. Each feather is meticulously constructed with intricate barbs and barbules, carefully arranged to provide insulation, aerodynamics, and camouflage. The precision and functionality of this design leave us in awe, reminding us that every aspect of nature is crafted with a profound purpose.

Or consider the remarkable sonar system of the humble bat. These tiny creatures navigate the darkness with ease, effortlessly avoiding obstacles and locating their prey by emitting high-pitched sounds and interpreting the echoes. It’s a sophisticated system that has inspired human technologies like radar and ultrasound imaging, a testament to the ingenuity inherent in nature’s designs.

But the wonders don’t stop there. Look closely at the delicate wing structure of a fly, and you’ll discover a marvel of engineering that allows these tiny creatures to perform incredible aerial maneuvers. The intricate network of veins and membranes, perfectly balanced and synchronized, enables the fly to defy the laws of physics with its agility and precision. As you ponder these marvels, can you truly attribute them to mere chance or random occurrences? Just as a masterpiece demands the acknowledgment of an artist’s vision, the intricate designs we witness in nature leads us to recognize the handiwork of a supreme being – an intelligence far beyond our comprehension.

the freedom of feeling like a grain of sand

Posted on by Ajmal
With a very broader perspective, we can see that most of our worries are like fleeting desert winds, temporary and insignificant in the grand scheme of things. The world will continue to spin regardless of our choices, so why not focus on what truly matters and let the countless worries, anxieties, and expectations fade like the whispers of past travelers across the sands of time?

Gazing at the vast, shimmering desert sprawled before me, I’m struck by the silence and scale. It’s a humbling reminder of my own minuscule place in this sprawling landscape, a single grain of sand amidst countless others. This feeling, I call it “granular perspective therapy,” brings immense peace because it highlights the relative insignificance of my daily anxieties.

While acknowledging our “granularity” might seem counterintuitive, it challenges the inflated sense of self-importance that can easily inflate in today’s world. Social media cultivates echo chambers where our opinions are constantly validated, and cultural messages bombard us with the idea that true fulfillment lies in grand achievements. This unrealistic pressure weighs us down, turning life into a relentless pursuit of self-actualization and achievement.

We become burdened by the illusion that we hold the world on our shoulders, constantly striving to complete endless to-do lists and meet everyone’s expectations. Failure to live up to these self-imposed standards feels catastrophic, creating a constant state of stress and anxiety.

However, embracing our granular reality is not only calming but also liberating. When we realize that the universe marches on unaffected by our individual actions, we gain the freedom to take genuine risks, to let go of the trivial, and to accept the expectations of others without undue pressure.

This doesn’t diminish the inherent importance of essential responsibilities, but it does offer a different lens through which to view them. We can acknowledge the importance of caring for a newborn or paying bills, while also recognizing that these tasks, while critical, don’t define our overall worth or significance.

With this broader perspective, we can see that most of our worries are like fleeting desert winds, temporary and insignificant in the grand scheme of things. The world will continue to spin regardless of our choices, so why not focus on what truly matters and let the countless worries, anxieties, and expectations fade like the whispers of past travelers across the sands of time?

The show must go on.

change, a constant in life

Posted on by Ajmal
No season lasts forever. The greatest gift is learning to flow wholeheartedly with life’s eternal reinvention.

Change is a constant in life, whether we like it or not. As much as humans naturally crave routine and familiarity, nothing ever stays the same forever. Jobs shift, relationships evolve, new phases of life begin. Even our own bodies and minds are always changing, day by day.

A lot of the time, change just gets imposed on us without any say. A global pandemic upends everyone’s lives overnight. You get laid off from work unexpectedly. A loved one passes away, altering your family forever. In these cases, we have no choice but to face the change head on and adapt as best we can.

Other times, we are the ones who initiate change in our lives, even though it’s still difficult. We decide to go back to school or switch careers. We end an unhealthy partnership. We move across the country for a new opportunity. Any bold life transition is challenging and requires adjustment.

No matter what generates the changes coming our way, one thing is certain – resistance only makes it harder. Yes, upheaval often sparks fear, worry, grief for what’s ending or being left behind. Those feelings are unavoidable and healthy to process. But fixating on resisting the changes underfoot just breeds more negativity and stress.

The wiser path is to make room for change. To accept its inevitability with as much grace as possible. This doesn’t mean we can’t experience sadness or anger over changes we didn’t want. It simply means meeting the new reality with open palms instead of clenched fists.

When we embrace change, we give ourselves space to identify the opportunities within it. The chance for positive new growth, even if it arises from something difficult. We stop wasting energy railing against the circumstances and start directing that energy toward adapting in a mindful way.

Change also gets easier when we cultivate flexibility as a core value. Nothing is permanent, so training our minds to be nimble and open to life’s shifts sets us up for more resilience. We become curious about what wisdom or perspective the new circumstances have to offer.

Of course, there are healthy ways to seek routine and familiarity too. Our stories, rituals and relationships can provide stabilizing continuity through life’s seasons of change. But ideally we hold them with open hands, knowing we’ll need to release and reform them at times too.

What I’m outlining in short is that, while change can be painful and disruptive, it also contains the seed of growth and transformation. It’s a potent reminder to cherish and appreciate what we have right now, while being ready to embrace and flow with what lies ahead, even when unpredictable. The only constant is change itself – may we meet it with courage, wisdom and an open mind.